The Worst Kind of Surprise Party

[all_too_familiar]

There is a man. He's meditating, and floating several inches off of the ground. This is fairly normal for him - at least he's not floating various furniture this time. Just himself. He doesn't feel like exerting himself any further. It's been a long day.

He realizes it's going to be a lot longer when he's no longer in his room.

"I hate surprises," he sighs, and he opens his eyes to look at his new surroundings. He's still floating, and surprisingly calm.

Comments

[unmarred]

Mark hugs him.

The corpselike temperature probably isn't a surprise. The corpselike stillness might be.

Human contact is terrifying, but substantially because it is so nice. He does not regret this course of action.

[all_too_familiar]

Eh, who's going to hold a corpselike stillness against somebody? Not Revan, that's who.

Hug!

For a former sith lord, he's surprisingly good at hugging. You might think it would be awkward, but no, he's just going to hold Mark like it's the most ordinary thing in the world. Hugs aren't weird. Anyone who thinks otherwise can shove a lightsaber in an orifice of their choice.

[unmarred]

Mark moves some, it's just that when he's not moving he is really not moving.

It is consequently hard to tell when he relaxes. Unless you happen to be reading his emotional state directly.

"Thanks," he says. Oh, has he been forgetting to breathe this whole time? Yes, apparently he has.

[all_too_familiar]

"Yep!" Revan takes this as his cue to end the hugs. He does so, and smiles at Mark.

"Now, I hope you don't take it personally, but I am still on my feet entirely by willpower and liberal use of the Force." Funny, he barely shows it. "I am going to go find the minion bed I hate the least and collapse in it for, hmm, ten hours, if there are no objections."

[unmarred]

"No objections. Goodnight."

[all_too_familiar]

"Good night. Don't explode while I am dead to the world, please, I like you."

And off he goes to be dead to the world.

[unmarred]

Mark goes off to sleep in the safe vampire bed. Ugh. At least it's comfortable.

[all_too_familiar]

Revan finds the room that offends his scope of tactics the least, and goes and is dead to the world. The bed's not the most comfortable, but it's certainly not the least. He's slept in the Shadowlands on Kashyyyk. With crazy murderous Mandalorians skulking in the shadows killing people that looked like easy targets. And murderous bloodthirsty beasts that scared the tall, extremely strong natives. On the ground. It rained. This is nothing in comparison, really.

He sleeps for nine hours, then drags himself out of bed to meditate for an hour to fix up the rest of his slightly neglected injury. Because of his lack of attention, it's now a subtle scar instead of smooth skin, but he doesn't particularly mind. It's less noticeable than his others.

He scrounges for food, finds some, turns it into an edible form through the use of a lightsaber because he doesn't know how the fuck any of these fucking appliances work, and then eats it. Once that's done, he recalls that his undead companion requires blood to sustain himself.

Let's go see if the vampire's hungry! He knocks, before entering the room, even though he's fully aware Mark's awake. It's only polite.

[unmarred]

Mark opens the door.

"Good morning."

[all_too_familiar]

"Good morning! I had breakfast, it occurred to me that you also might need some."

[unmarred]

"I seem to be all right for now."

[all_too_familiar]

"All right. Let me know if that changes."

Revan seems much more chipper today.

"I think I'm going to loot the place," he says brightly.

[unmarred]

"Sounds like fun."

[all_too_familiar]

"Oh, loads! Want to help?"

[unmarred]

"Naturally."

[all_too_familiar]

Revan grins. And then it's time to loot the place.

He is systematic and thorough and obviously takes a certain joy in it.

[unmarred]

Mark is on hand to consult about the nature and likely usefulness of various objects! He's not an expert in the early twenty-first century, but he's a lot closer to one than Revan.

[all_too_familiar]

How useful! Revan is bright enough to identify money on his own, and can figure out most of the obvious stuff without help, but he does need some things explained. Mark is so useful!

They find:

About a hundred and thirty dollars in cash

Several sets of clothes, some of which are even worthy of being worn

A wrist watch

Three cases of tik-tacs

Four cell phones, and only one charger

A stash of porn that Revan finds 'disappointingly boring' ("You'd think murder cultists would at least have interesting fetishes!")

Nail polish (in colors purple, red, and black)

One small case of tissues

A jewelry box filled with shitty knockoff jewelry

A 'Nintendo 3DS' with a pokemon game that is mid-Elite Four fight

A metric shitton of pretty hair clips

One diary, nearly empty except for the promise that the owner will write in it more

A deck of playing cards

A tiny first aid kit mostly filled with stuff to patch up bites, but also some band-aids

Six stuffed cats

Lots and lots of ominous candles

A lighter and a set of matches

Two rolls of duct tape

A truly astounding collection of sex toys (Revan doesn't joke about this one, tempting as it is; the former owner was the vampire. He raises an eyebrow, closes the box, and puts it back in the closet without another word.)

A set of coupons for 'All you can eat!' at a local diner

A night light

"You know," observes Revan when they have finished looting the place, "I don't know if I'm disappointed in them or if I just find it all hilarious."

[unmarred]

"Eh. I'm charmed by the cats. They're so fluffy," says Mark.

[all_too_familiar]

"Pity my hair's not longer, or I might indulge in the hair clips."

[unmarred]

Mark giggles. "Some of them are quite nice."

[all_too_familiar]

"And there are so many options available!"

[unmarred]

"Anyway. Time to find out if I explode in sunlight?"

[all_too_familiar]

Revan makes a face.

"Mm. Yeah, if you're up for it. And we should figure it out as safely as possible - maybe try reflections of sunlight or something before moving on to the real thing. No one had a hand mirror, but I could break one of the ones in the bathrooms and use that."

[unmarred]

Mark shrugs. "All right."