Most Likely A Refuge

[whatamithinking]

It was probably safe.

The bar was...unusually reticent, in the lower layers of her mind (and she hadn't pried further; she wasn't sure if she'd be noticed; she wasn't sure if offending would get her kicked out, and regardless of whether it was actually safe it was safer than anywhere else she'd been for the past...three years?) so she couldn't be sure this place wasn't really a trap of some kind, but the higher layers gave a plausible explanation that didn't involve being a trap, and whatever else it was warm and dry and had food. Her guard was probably a full 25% down. Positively trusting, these days.

Comments

[whatamithinking]

The "new" Edie is wearing a probably-familiar goofy outfit.

"Yeah, the Psyche staff does mental shielding, didn't I mention? What on Earth is going on?"

"You I can at least tell exist," mutters the possibly-evil possibly-suicidal one.

[onceandforall]

"I thought she was you for like... four seconds," Bella mutters. "Assuming you're you; do you recognize me?"

[whatamithinking]

"Of course I do," she says, flushing slightly. "It's--really great to see you again, although I could wish it had been under happier circumstances--do you have mental shielding, do you need to borrow the staff? I can probably do without if I have to."

[onceandforall]

"I've got shielding, she can't even sense I'm here, I got a spell for it last loop and cast it at the start of this one."

[whatamithinking]

"How many loops has it been? And--what's wrong with her, is she just--reading minds? Without permission?"

"I'm right here, you know, you don't have to talk about me behind my back."

"Fine. What the hell is wrong with you, if you're doing things to other peoples' brains without consent."

"It's a matter of fucking survival! Not just mine! Not just Emily's!"

"Right. And no one else could do something better?"

"Everyone else besides us who could do anything about it is dead. Including our parents."

"Tell me, have you ever spent five minutes trying to think of alternate solutions besides turning into my worst nightmare?"

"Of course I fucking have!"

"Really trying? Or convincing yourself that it was necessary, that you had to play the martyr no matter how much it hurt other people? Because it hurts, because it can never stop hurting no matter what, and nothing really matters, even the people you're supposed to be protecting?"

"What--you can't imagine--the Hell I live in--I call my worst nightmares Tuesday--"

"Funny enough, lying to yourself doesn't work as well to an external self."

[onceandforall]

"Just one loop. Door in Buffalo was there again," murmurs Bella.

[whatamithinking]

"I'm glad," unambiguously not-evil Edie murmurs.

Ambiguously-evil Edie's head is lowered, and she's shaking. "You can't--I can't..."

Cerebella looks at her, and--

Puts down the Psyche staff against a wall.

"I'm not defenseless even without this," she warns, as the desperate one looks up sharply. "Touch anything private and you'll regret it."

After a moment, the desperate one--

collapses like a puppet with cut strings.

[onceandforall]

"What - happened?"

[whatamithinking]

"...She couldn't let herself believe me if she didn't have a look for herself. I don't actually mind having my mind read in principle, so I let her. She's currently trying to reconcile I've been being willfully blind for the past three years with and this led me to do terrible things with and collapsing into a heap of self-loathing and/or suicide is the opposite of helpful," Cerebella murmurs. "...I'm so, so, tempted to just--blame everything she did on the people who hurt her, but it doesn't work like that, does it." She shivers. "I just hate to think--that I could have ended up like that. I wouldn't," she whispers fiercely to herself. "I wouldn't do that. Not me. Not now."

[onceandforall]

Bella takes her hand and squeezes it.

[whatamithinking]

She squeezes back.

"...I have the most ridiculous urge to apologize for being the kind of person who's theoretically capable of turning out like that."

[onceandforall]

"No need."

[whatamithinking]

"Yeah. I'm really glad you already had a way of protecting yourself before you met here."

[onceandforall]

"Me too."

[whatamithinking]

Hugs. Hugs are appropriate in this situation.

[onceandforall]

Hugs.

[whatamithinking]

"...What do you think we should do with her? I imagine she's not going to leave Milliways until she's come up with something better than what she previously had, but...even if she was handling it badly, I'm still not comfortable just throwing her back into whatever broke her."

[onceandforall]

"I don't know. I don't think I dare leave through somebody else's door myself, considering, or I might help if it seemed like something I could manage..."

[whatamithinking]

"If she stabilizes enough to get a good read on and the read is promising sending her through my door like we did with you might be a good idea. There isn't even an enraged supervillain on the other side this time."

[onceandforall]

"Yeah. And if that works and she needs a lot of oomph I could get her an evil furball, although it's anyone's guess if she'd get the spell to sustain herself in my cheaty fashion without witches..."

[whatamithinking]

"Depending on how long you're interested in staying to help she could probably get it before it would be a problem that she didn't have it even if she didn't get it to start. ...Although...maybe it would be a good idea to chuck her through my door now, if she agrees to it. Take advantage of the personal achievement boosts from figuring out how to put herself back together." She nibbles her lip. "It's a gamble, if it turns out she puts herself back together badly and then she has this power, but it could have a high payoff if it worked out."

[onceandforall]

"Security can take her if it has to but that's a short term solution..."

[whatamithinking]

"Yeah...I mean, it's unlikely that she's going to come out of this doing something worse than what she was already doing. I, uh," she winces. "I got a look at what she could do when she checked my sincerity. She...was actually showing nonzero restraint. Not that this excuses what she did, but..."

[onceandforall]

"Do I want to know what she was restraining herself from...?"

[whatamithinking]

"Short version is that her mindreading can be pretty selective and she was mostly refraining from touching anything that she didn't feel she absolutely needed to."