Wander about looking dismayed

[aestrix]

There is a certain reason why wandering around outside by yourself while looking dismayed and thinking about your troubles might get you a bit more than sore feet, burrs in your shoes, and catharsis.

Sometimes, you might just find a mysterious old woman. It's hard to tell them apart from perfectly ordinary old women, just the way mist curls around her feet or for the way her eyes catch the light a bit too well, or other telling signs of mysteriousness. Those vary, though, and often it's quite a good idea to err on the side of caution with these things, and take care with heeding their advice.

While their advice often is a very bizarre set of instructions, following them perfectly will get you exactly the result the mysterious old woman advertised, without fail. If she advertises a fixed roof if you were to weave a net made of reeds picked only at midnight on a new moon and then drape it over your roof at sunrise, or a full stomach if you filled a large pot with clear water, acorns, and fresh wildflowers and put it over a fire and leave it to simmer for four hours, you will get a fixed roof or a pot filled with delicious stew. If you follow the instructions exactly.

If you don't, you could get something else entirely.

Comments

[light_another_life]

Imarivet takes a deep breath, raises her bit of wood and paper and stick of charcoal to better write things with, and then says, only a little shakily, "Yes please."

[pythbox]

"Then listen closely and do just as I say," the mysterious old woman instructs.

"Tomorrow morning, go to the palace and tell the guards that you were summoned to marry the elder prince."

She speaks slowly and clearly, with short pauses to be sure Imarivet is getting it all down.

"Before the marriage ceremony, dress yourself in ten snow-white shifts beneath your gown. Ask that a tub of lye, a tub of milk, and as many birch rods as a man can carry be brought to your bridal chamber. If you have practical difficulties accomplishing any of these preparations, you will find the younger prince very willing to help you. After you are wed, when your husband orders you to shed the first shift, bid him to shed a skin first. He will ask you this nine times, and when you are left wearing one shift you must whip him with the rods, wash him in the lye, bathe him in the milk, wrap him in the discarded shifts, and hold him in your arms."

[light_another_life]

She startles a little at 'summoned to marry the elder prince' but she doesn't question it or protest and focuses on writing. Write write write, her handwriting is not the best it's ever been but everything here is perfectly legible.

"... Am I allowed to ask questions about the procedure?" she wonders, when all of it is written down.

[pythbox]

"You may," the old woman says agreeably.

[light_another_life]

"Excellent, okay. Does the milk have to be from a certain animal, and if not, does it all have to be from the same type of animal, or can we, in a pinch, mix milk types to fill the tub properly?"

[pythbox]

"The exact nature and origin of the milk are unimportant."

[light_another_life]

Nod.

"Size of the tub? Strength of the man carrying the birch rods?"

[pythbox]

"The tub should be of such a size that a grown man or woman could bathe in it; the birch rods should number no fewer than ten, and no more than a capable servant can carry in a single bundle."

[light_another_life]

She writes these down, nodding.

"Filled to nearly overflowing, or do we have some leeway for how filled the tubs are?"

[pythbox]

"Filled to a depth sufficient to bathe in."

[light_another_life]

Write write, nod.

She hesitates, then asks, "Is there a, a certain level of force I should use for, the, um, whipping?"

[pythbox]

"It will not be difficult to break the rods with it, but they must all be broken in this way before you proceed to the next step."

[light_another_life]

Wince, write.

"And I assume before my, my husband asks me to shed a shift I take off the dress?"

[pythbox]

"The exact fate of the dress is unimportant, but each time he sheds one skin in accordance with your request, you must afterward shed one shift in accordance with his."

[light_another_life]

Nod, write.

"Is how thoroughly I bathe him in lye and milk important?" Pause. "Do I need to bring a scrub brush?"

[pythbox]

"A scrub brush will not be necessary, only your hands and the tubs. Make a sincere effort to ensure that more of him is washed than left dry, each time."

[light_another_life]

She writes this down, then says, "... This all seems to follow the theme of 'as long as I am sincerely trying to follow the exact instructions you started with I'll be fine,' and I've definitely got those, so - um. I suppose I'll save you further time." Pause. "Thank you." She thinks...

[pythbox]

The mysterious old woman nods. "I am always glad to help someone in need," she says. "You will find the results agreeable, provided you follow the instructions."

And she turns and walks away, shimmering faintly with mysterious light.

[light_another_life]

Aaaaaaaaaa.


Aaaaaaaaaaaa!

She takes a deep breath and turns to go home to ask her brother to collect ten snow white shifts while she copies these instructions down again to get the handwriting perfect, and make a 'I need this' list to hand to the younger prince, and probably a whole other list of things that she'll think of when she calms down a little bit more.




The next morning, she is in front of the palace, bag filled with ten shifts slung over her shoulder, looking only a little nervous.

[pythbox]

The gate guard asks her her business.

[light_another_life]

Because she does not want to fuck this up she is going to get the wording exactly as the mysterious old woman told her.

"I was summoned to marry the elder prince," she says, because she has memorized this line and doesn't need to check her list.

[pythbox]

"...of course," he says uneasily. "Right this way, miss. You there! Show the, uh, prince's betrothed, to her room."

The fellow guard thus selected nods unhappily and motions to Imarivet to follow him.

[light_another_life]

"If you would please," says Imarivet, "I would like to see my future brother in law first."

She says this in a way that sounds like she is not to be questioned on this front.

[pythbox]

"Uh, very well," says the guard. "We can check his study..."

He leads her to the prince's study and knocks.

[mydarkness]

The study proves to contain one prince.

"...Yes...?"