Delightfully Strange

[magictechsupport]

At the end of the universe,

A man steps into a bar and looks around. "Huh, nobody told me they installed a break room here."

With Slayer Juliet.

With Kappa's Dagna.

With Eclipse!Bell.

Comments

[cross_and_bow]

"Bella. What's wrong with your usual kind of interdimensionality?"

Welcome. Can I interest you in a drink? First one is free, says a napkin.

[magictechsupport]

The bar being a person gets an expression of mild surprise.

To Bella, "It'd be boring if it was the same thing, mostly, I just spent about six hours untangling dimensional identifier runes because someone decided that just copying the old version was enough when they moved offices."

To the bar, "Drinks... Close enough to quitting time, why not. Since you're offering, I'll have a 'setting star' or whatever other cocktail you recommend if you don't know that one."

[cross_and_bow]

I know all the drinks, says the bar in affronted handwriting. The napkin is accompanied by a setting star.

"Ah, no, I think this is a different kind. It's not the kind I've got at home either."

[magictechsupport]

"Thank you." He takes a sip and nods approvingly. "It certainly seems like it. I'm just glad that this one, if I have to fix it, the problem will most likely not be the results of someone's lack of common sense."

[cross_and_bow]

"I don't think you have to fix this place. It seems to be working as planned, although who plans a thing to work this way I couldn't tell you."

[magictechsupport]

He shrugs. "Multiversal bar is a lot more sensible than some of the things the TLAs come up with."

[cross_and_bow]

"TLAs?"

[magictechsupport]

"Ah, three letter acronyms. CEO, CTO, EOF, TRO, top level corporate kinds of guys."

[cross_and_bow]

"Gotcha. What kinda corporation has dimensionality problems when someone moves offices?"

[magictechsupport]

"A magic corporation, of course. Mutliversal Thaumics Unlimited, senior tech support staff, at your service. I'd rather not talk about work too much if you don't mind, though."

[cross_and_bow]

"I'll tell you about my job as a vampire slayer if you tell me about yours as a multiversal magic tech support guy."

[magictechsupport]

Eyebrow-raise, and he does something with his glasses. "Which kind of vampires? No, nevermind, likely I've not heard of them. Sure. I don't know where to start explaining my job beyond 'fix things' though."

[cross_and_bow]

"Bitey snarly sunshine-allergic vampires. I don't know if the species has a name other than 'vampire' to distinguish them from alternate universe peers. How many multiverses do you serve? Supporting what products? How do they get ahold of you, do you have interdimensional phones?"

[magictechsupport]

"The interdimensional phones are what I spent most of today fixing. MTU sells a little bit of everything, or supports subsidiaries who do it for us, but the core products are communication, teleportation, divination, transmutation, and protection. I mostly work with communication and teleportation divisions. I'd need to look at my files to find the exact number, but suffice to say it's at least 'lots'. Are your vampires obligate anivores? That is, they must live off sentient beings to survive."

[cross_and_bow]

"No, they can live off animal blood, it's just that turning into a vampire removes the soul and with it all impulses to consider that preferable in any way to hunting down human snacks. Lots like hundreds or lots like tens of millions or what? Do you work in a fiat currency, that sounds like it'd be hard if you're that spread out."

[magictechsupport]

"Then your vampires aren't of a kind I know. I wouldn't call Multiverse Trade Units fiat, they're backed up by magic. The number's somewhere in the middle. Hundreds of thousands."

[cross_and_bow]

"How do you back a currency by magic?"

[magictechsupport]

"There are alternate currencies that MTU can be traded for, which are generated via sacrificing something, and magically grant the thing sacrificed upon redeeming. My favorite is Clarity. It's like two coffees on top of a wit-sharpening potion."

[cross_and_bow]

"Huh. How do you generally go about onboarding a new universe?"

[magictechsupport]

"I'm not all that familiar with the process, I'm tech support. I do know the suits divine for a risk assessment first. Frankly, I don't have a good feeling about that, given what you've told me so far."

[cross_and_bow]

"...Yeah, safe my universe isn't, but that's why all those things you mention sound so useful to have. Do you guys just sell comforts to the comfortable?"

[magictechsupport]

"It's more about risk versus reward. The suits don't want to put their employees in supernaturally dangerous places, that way lies huge lawsuit payouts. I might be able to swing you a link crystal, arrange for deliveries, but a branch office is right out."

[cross_and_bow]

"How do link crystals work and what kind of sacrifices am I looking at to have a nest egg that will buy me substantial oomph?"

[magictechsupport]

"That depends a lot on what you have available. VIT is a three-to-five day loss or gain in general physical capability. CLA is the same but slightly longer period, and general mental ability. MNA is, magical fuel, if you have access to magic and it runs on a thing you can sell some. AP is the same but represents your permanent magical power. It runs much, much higher. EMO is the ability to feel emotions. Temporary, not removed entirely for the duration. LUK is luck, limited to minor and moderate things because interfacing directly with fate is usually a terrible idea. DIV is divine intervention. I'd know already if you qualified to sell that. And here I thought I was done with work."

[cross_and_bow]

"I can't get local magic to work for me, I've tried. I have technically had contact with divine things but they kinda suck so I don't know if they'd be interested."