from whence

[bitterchill]

Ari's been bouncing around the world fighting demonic horrors and fae creatures and Mothers know what else for over half a century, at a conservative estimate. He's not so naïve as to say he's seen it all, but he's seen most. He's seen a lot of it dead, too.

One thing he absolutely has not seen is that fucking thing. Giant snake with a mirror for a head. Nonresponsive to attempts to communicate, thrashing about wrecking traffic light and such, and thus: probably Bad News. Bad News which probably calls for murder. Luckily, Ari's good at that.

Planning... perhaps less so.

In retrospect, "punch the obviously supernatural mirror" was not what one might call the best idea.

But there's little enough time to worry about that; he's landed. Ow. What the hell did he land on?

Comments

[allcomplete]

A bookshelf, which has come down on top of him in the ensuing gravitational rearrangement.

Inches from his face, a book having landed open on its head, is a pastel green horse about three feet high.

"...What are you?" she (judging by the voice) wants to know.

[bitterchill]

"Confused," he declares. "Not dead, which is surprising but positive overall. Not a teensy green unicorn, which is apparently also surprising?"

[allcomplete]

The book on her head glows teal and floats off her head, closing itself neatly and setting itself down on the floor. "You're some kind of beige..." She takes a few steps to the left; the bookshelf on top of him also glows teal before righting itself. "Ape creature."

[bitterchill]

"I've been called worse. 'Beige' is unfair, in my opinion; it's an ugly word, puts me in mind of grandma clothes. And I didn't even have a grandma."

Ari would offer to help, but the telekinetic seems to have it well in hand. He settles for dusting off a few hardcovers.

[allcomplete]

She gets the books off of him and in stacks, but apparently despairs of putting them all on the shelf in order. "The librarian's going to be so put out. Well, beige ape creature, what are you doing here?"

[bitterchill]

"I'm a human, in case you want the actual words. Human, homo sapiens sapiens, though I guess the fact that I'm a wizard might mean I'm just a very close hominid? Homo sapiens miraculum?" He ponders.

[allcomplete]

"Human sounds like a serviceable word. You sounded like you knew what I am, so there's that. But what are you doing in the library of the school for gifted unicorns, please."

[bitterchill]

"Fucked if I know. Uh, I was walking down Fifth on my way to the pawnbroker, there was this... giant snake with a mirror for a face? And, I mean, it was wrecking the intersection, so I decided to get in my recommended daily value of vigilante monster slaying. But punching the mirror, instead of, you know, breaking the mirror, got me sucked through its face into... the library of the school for gifted unicorns. I guess. And I spilled a bunch of books, so, sorry about that?"

[allcomplete]

"...That really doesn't make a lot of sense, but I guess it sounds like you don't know any more about why there would be a mirror snake monster that takes you from apeland to here than I do."

[bitterchill]

"Yeah, on a scale of one to 'makes sense' I'm giving this a 2. What is this... universe, I guess, anyway? Is everybody pastel unicorns?"

[allcomplete]

"No. In this country approximately one third of the population are unicorns in a wide variety of colors, and the rest are mostly pegasi and earth ponies, with minorities of cows and buffalo and so on."

[bitterchill]

"Huh. So, there's all different kinds of the ponies... But they can all use the telekinesis stuff, right?"

[allcomplete]

"No, only unicorns can."

[bitterchill]

Ari looks at her hoof.

Ari looks at his hand.

Ari looks at the pony, manifestly confused.

[allcomplete]

"They get along!" she assures him. "My mother is a pegasus and she can do most normal things without trouble. I'd have a problem because I tend to fall over if I'm standing on fewer than three hooves, sometimes even if I try to have one off the ground, but that's just me.

[bitterchill]

"For the sake of demonstration, would you pick up that book and turn a page? Hooffully? Because I'm just... really not... seeing it."

[allcomplete]

She picks up a book and turns a page.

[bitterchill]

"Ohhhh. It's so obvious, when you see it done."

Ari looks around the library. "Are there, like... authorities this should be reported to? Last time this happened Sally had to buy me a forged birth certificate."

[allcomplete]

"I mean, I suppose someone should tell the Princess, but I can just do that the next time I speak to her. You don't seem like a public emergency. You seem like you're probably a private emergency, but that's your own business who you want to talk to about it."

[bitterchill]

"Yeah. I'm gonna miss Earth. And my friends."

He takes a moment to miss those mentioned above.

"So, do you guys have any monsters need slain? 'Cause that's, like, 100% my job description."

[allcomplete]

"Monster-slaying is not really common as an occupation. I suppose if someone has a problem with a hydra you could take care of that?"

[bitterchill]

"Ooh, hydra! But, like, I can be proactive too. Like, if the great beast sleeps 'neath the mountain and will wake a thousand years hence, I'm down for going 'neath the mountain and turning it into a gritty paste before it can do anything."

[allcomplete]

"Well," she starts making a halfhearted attempt at organizing the downed books in auras of teal light, "I can maybe look up some things like that, there might be a handful. What do you do when you've run out of thousand-year monsters? There aren't going to be very many, or there'd be some of them popping up every day from a thousand years ago, which there are not."

[bitterchill]

"...I might be used to a world with a higher density of horrible monsters, then. Last year I stopped two ancient sealed-off threats within two weeks of each other. And that's discounting vampires, faeries, loups-garou, etcetera etcetera, everything that just eats people for no reason."

[allcomplete]

"We don't really have that many threats around. Wow, that sounds exhaustingly dangerous."