from whence

[bitterchill]

Ari's been bouncing around the world fighting demonic horrors and fae creatures and Mothers know what else for over half a century, at a conservative estimate. He's not so naïve as to say he's seen it all, but he's seen most. He's seen a lot of it dead, too.

One thing he absolutely has not seen is that fucking thing. Giant snake with a mirror for a head. Nonresponsive to attempts to communicate, thrashing about wrecking traffic light and such, and thus: probably Bad News. Bad News which probably calls for murder. Luckily, Ari's good at that.

Planning... perhaps less so.

In retrospect, "punch the obviously supernatural mirror" was not what one might call the best idea.

But there's little enough time to worry about that; he's landed. Ow. What the hell did he land on?

Comments

[allcomplete]

"No, only unicorns can."

[bitterchill]

Ari looks at her hoof.

Ari looks at his hand.

Ari looks at the pony, manifestly confused.

[allcomplete]

"They get along!" she assures him. "My mother is a pegasus and she can do most normal things without trouble. I'd have a problem because I tend to fall over if I'm standing on fewer than three hooves, sometimes even if I try to have one off the ground, but that's just me.

[bitterchill]

"For the sake of demonstration, would you pick up that book and turn a page? Hooffully? Because I'm just... really not... seeing it."

[allcomplete]

She picks up a book and turns a page.

[bitterchill]

"Ohhhh. It's so obvious, when you see it done."

Ari looks around the library. "Are there, like... authorities this should be reported to? Last time this happened Sally had to buy me a forged birth certificate."

[allcomplete]

"I mean, I suppose someone should tell the Princess, but I can just do that the next time I speak to her. You don't seem like a public emergency. You seem like you're probably a private emergency, but that's your own business who you want to talk to about it."

[bitterchill]

"Yeah. I'm gonna miss Earth. And my friends."

He takes a moment to miss those mentioned above.

"So, do you guys have any monsters need slain? 'Cause that's, like, 100% my job description."

[allcomplete]

"Monster-slaying is not really common as an occupation. I suppose if someone has a problem with a hydra you could take care of that?"

[bitterchill]

"Ooh, hydra! But, like, I can be proactive too. Like, if the great beast sleeps 'neath the mountain and will wake a thousand years hence, I'm down for going 'neath the mountain and turning it into a gritty paste before it can do anything."

[allcomplete]

"Well," she starts making a halfhearted attempt at organizing the downed books in auras of teal light, "I can maybe look up some things like that, there might be a handful. What do you do when you've run out of thousand-year monsters? There aren't going to be very many, or there'd be some of them popping up every day from a thousand years ago, which there are not."

[bitterchill]

"...I might be used to a world with a higher density of horrible monsters, then. Last year I stopped two ancient sealed-off threats within two weeks of each other. And that's discounting vampires, faeries, loups-garou, etcetera etcetera, everything that just eats people for no reason."

[allcomplete]

"We don't really have that many threats around. Wow, that sounds exhaustingly dangerous."

[bitterchill]

"Eh. With seven billion humans, your personal likelihood of getting devoured isn't all that high. As evidenced by the fact that a shocking percentage of them just ignore that the monsters exist. And as to the exhaustion of fighting the monsters, it may be tiring, but long as I know I'm doing the right thing, I'll keep on going."

[allcomplete]

"That's very admirable. But we don't have as much scope for your talents. I can try to see if there's a way to put you back so fewer of those seven billion people get devoured, but I'm not immediately coming up with a solid research angle so it could take a very long time."

[bitterchill]

"Hey, I don't actually mind being stuck here a while. I mean, all things considered I'd rather not be trapped for the rest of my life, and saving people's great, but this place in general sounds like a tidy vacation spot, you know? And if I happen to clear out a few prophesied apocalypses while I'm in town, I'm still helping out the adorable ponyfolk."

[allcomplete]

"That seems like a very healthy attitude to take while you're here."

[bitterchill]

"Let's go with that!"

A thought occurs. Ari smacks his head. "We never introduced ourselves! I'm Ari." He extends a hand.

[allcomplete]

"I'm Clarity Bell." She knocks her hoof against his knuckles gently.

[bitterchill]

"...Hoofbump! Works for me. Nice to meet you, uh, properly, Clarity."

[allcomplete]

"Likewise." Pause. "You're very tall. I'm not sure where to put you. I suppose you could fit into my apartment if you crawled, but I don't have a second bed."

[bitterchill]

"Huh. Yeah, size may become an issue. I mean, you've got no need to put me up yourself, I just happened to land on you."

[allcomplete]

"Well, someone else might or might not be willing, but I think they'd all have the same problem: you just aren't pony-sized. I wonder if I could shrink you."

[bitterchill]

"That'd be some serious magic. Unless we're talking super different magic... dumb question, of course we are, you're a freaking unicorn. It'd be much appreciated, at any rate, especially if you could remove it."

[allcomplete]

"I'm not planning to irreversibly shrink you. But I've never shrunk a living thing before. I'll look into it. Fortunately it's not going to be in this scrambled section." She trots over to a different stack and starts floating down books.