The Worst Kind of Surprise Party

[all_too_familiar]

There is a man. He's meditating, and floating several inches off of the ground. This is fairly normal for him - at least he's not floating various furniture this time. Just himself. He doesn't feel like exerting himself any further. It's been a long day.

He realizes it's going to be a lot longer when he's no longer in his room.

"I hate surprises," he sighs, and he opens his eyes to look at his new surroundings. He's still floating, and surprisingly calm.

Comments

[unmarred]

"What a surprise."

[all_too_familiar]

"They had an academy. It was - some mix of sick, pathetic, and completely bonkers. I attended, briefly, during my miscellaneous adventures. They are mostly all insane." Pause. "I have stories, if you want to hear them."

[unmarred]

"Love to."

[all_too_familiar]

He flashes a smile. "How did I know. All right, so the star map I needed was in the Tomb of Naga Sadow. The Tomb of Naga Sadow was located in the sith academy. So, of course, I had to go join the sith academy to get at the tomb. Here is how it worked - first, you had to get a medallion from a person who was recruiting - you didn't get a medallion if you weren't considered worthy. Or, you could kill someone else that had a medallion, and it would be just as valid, and they would let you walk right in. Because that's good planning."

[unmarred]

"It's like they're setting them up to be a bunch of short-sighted backstabbing fuckups," says Mark.

[all_too_familiar]

"Oh, they are. So upon admittance into the academy, the prospective students are thrown into a competition with all of their peers. Only one among the group may become a sith. Then, they turn all of their prospective students loose, with little to no training, and tell them to go do things to gain 'prestige.' That is, proof that you are worthy of being sith. The, mm, most common way was to raid old, very deadly tombs of past sith lords. And to kill your competition. That sort of thing - 'go do something dangerous, you have zero training, you are expected to win anyway, and forget about making alliances.'"

[unmarred]

"For fuck's sake," says Mark.

[all_too_familiar]

"It gets better. I'm not kidding, it does. So, I am, uh, myself. At this place. I redeem some people, I kill some people, I raid some tombs, I reprogram a droid that wanted to live in peace so it wouldn't kill people that it didn't want to. I have a soft spot for droids, it was very polite, I couldn't help but help it out. Anyway - so I defeat my competition. I get told to go on a trip to the Tomb of Naga Sadow for my final test, lucky me. I succeed at that, too, which involved fighting two giant Force-resistant beasts alone, which sucked. After, when I have completed the 'test' and found my star map, I go to leave, and... The master of the academy shows up. And then tells me to kill his apprentice."

[unmarred]

"I am beginning to get really annoyed with these people."

[all_too_familiar]

"You and me both. I killed him, defeated the apprentice, and then asked very nicely if she would like to stop being a part of an organization that was obviously going to kill itself off in under a decade. She accepted, went on her merry way. I walked out and that is when the students thought it would be a good idea to attack me." He smiles a very smug smile. "That went as well as expected."

[unmarred]

Snicker. "Oh, I bet."

[all_too_familiar]

"So now they have a bit of a problem with numbers. Breaks my heart."

He looks anything but heartbroken.

[unmarred]

"A tragedy. Whatever will they do."

[all_too_familiar]

"Die off, hopefully."

[unmarred]

"With any luck."

[all_too_familiar]

"I can dream."

... Is Revan checking him out? It's sort of hard to tell.

[unmarred]

Good question.

Let there be no mistake about the reverse.

[all_too_familiar]

Oh, he's noticed by now.

"I liked your fight with the asshole who summoned us, by the way."

[unmarred]

"Thank you," says Mark.

[all_too_familiar]

"Yep."

He wonders, idly, what the sleeping situation is going to be. For completely innocent reasons, of course. There are a number of minion beds, but the vampire's bed is certainly large enough for two. Coincidentally.

Hrm. How exhausted is he, exactly? ... Pretty damn exhausted, he's running off of the Force, willpower, and being accustomed to this sort of bone-deep weariness. Is he too exhausted to maybe pursue this train of thought? Hmmm. Hmmmm. Possibly not.

"What's the sleeping situation going to be like?" muses Revan. "You should likely get the vampire's bed, because safety, but I don't know if you want me nearby," or very nearby, "or up in a minion's room."

[unmarred]

"...With considerable regret, I think I'm going to have to say 'not nearby'."

[all_too_familiar]

"Aw. I understand. Want a consolation prize?"

[unmarred]

"Sure."

[all_too_familiar]

Hmmmmmmm does Revan think he's going to be a good kisser in this particular state of tired... Probably not, if he's honest. And who knows if there was after effects from creepy unwanted amorous vampire guy. Hug's safer.

He stands, and holds out his arms in the offer of 'hug?'

[unmarred]

Mark hugs him.

The corpselike temperature probably isn't a surprise. The corpselike stillness might be.

Human contact is terrifying, but substantially because it is so nice. He does not regret this course of action.