there's only so much I can turn into

[mswoods]

The thirteen-year-old girl is coming back home from school, on foot.

There's a cat following her. It's been following her for a while, but from a distance.

She decides to be friendly. She stops and turns around to look at it. It stops as well. "Mow?"

The girl's face- changes. It's still a human face, mostly, but now there's something different about it. More feline than anything. Whiskers grow, her pupils dilate and her eyes get a bit rounder, her bones move under her skin, their shape changing a bit. "Mew," she says, vocal apparatus having changed a bit, apparently.

The cat blinks and approaches cautiously. "Moow...?"

She doesn't giggle, but she feels like giggling. She's talking to a kitty! Well, kinda talking to a kitty, it's not like she can understand kitty-speech. But still! "Maw!"

Comments

[mrwoods]

He's pretty smart, or so he likes to think.

He's also pretty in control of his facial muscles.

"So you kill everyone you eat?"

[taste_tester]

"Guilty."

[mrwoods]

"How often do you have to eat?"

[taste_tester]

"Every week or three. Less, optionally, it takes a truly uncomfortably long amount of time to actually starve, but that makes the unquenchable thirst thirstier."

[mrwoods]

He's talking to a mass murderer.

He's talking to a mass murderer.

He's talking to a mass murder.

He's talking to a mass murderer.

He can't run, he can't call anyone, she has super speed and super strength, there is absolutely nothing he can do as a human to top that, his magic will take too long, if she notices him doing anything that'd render him harder to kill she'd kill him first, crap he has to become a vampire but he can't be a mass murderer can't can't can't-

"...can't you produce human blood while you're using my power?"

[taste_tester]

"I could, actually. But I didn't keep it all that long. Lots to do."

[mrwoods]

"Right. I'm mostly asking for. Me. Becoming a mass murderer: does not appeal."

He's quite calm, isn't he? Yes, he is. There's no use to losing his head now.

[taste_tester]

"Yeah, I figured if you had a complaint it'd be that one. That or the part where turning hurts like a motherfucker or the secrecy requirements. I've heard secondhand about oddball vampires who eat animals, so I suppose that's possible. Unappetizing, though."

[mrwoods]

Eating animals: also an option. Good to know. She could have mentioned that first. And her objection to it is that it's unappetizing what the frick. And vampires who do that are oddball?!

"Before the other parts, I have to ask, will my psyche change a lot when I turn?" Because if the majority of vampires are mass murderers either there is some very strong selection effect going on or something really freaky happens in their head.

[taste_tester]

"Nope. Stays put, we're very psychologically stable beasties. I couldn't've turned you when I found you, turning kids is super illegal, they don't develop and wind up laying waste to villages or what have you. Oh, but those of us who are not me do a mating for life thing, I'm pretty secure in my probable immunity but it's common elsewise."

[mrwoods]

"...if I may ask, if we don't change, why do most vampires kill people casually? That is not a thing most humans would do if given the chance."

[taste_tester]

"They're just that tasty and where required the rationalization engine does the rest. You don't believe me, and you will also not believe me about how much of a bitch turning is, but you'll see. Unless you'd rather just have a tragic accident falling down the stairs."

[mrwoods]

"I would very much not prefer to have a tragic accident, no. And given that my power can produce a steady supply of blood, I'm hoping just that tasty will only indicate that I ought to go to a secluded corner and start bleeding into a cup. Or bucket, as may be the case." He shakes his head. "Okay, so, turning is a bitch, can you be more specific? Do you think maybe if I turned off my nerves that'd help with the pain? ...actually couldn't I just get rid of pain qualia altogether? If I'm going to become that durable afterwards."

His eye does not twitch. It does not. Being in perfect control of his body language is a trivial application of his power.

[taste_tester]

"Maybe! If you can muster that kind of focus during, I mean, you might not be able to."

[mrwoods]

"...okay. I might do it before." He clears his throat. "And the secrecy thing?"

[taste_tester]

"Oh, yeah, if you tell anyone about vampires they get the turning or death option, else the vampire shadow government comes after you and kills you. Or optionally recruits you. Talking it out like this is not customary, usually it's 'good morning you're welcome for the three day hell welcome to vampirism'."

[mrwoods]

Shadow vampire government.

"Any laws other than being a secret?"

Because clearly it's not a sane enough government to have laws about, oh, I don't know, not murdering people.

[taste_tester]

"No immortal children, no newborn armies, and if they - they're called the Volturi - personally show up and tell you to do something you'll do it if you know what's good for you; that's about it."

[mrwoods]

Which just means Sadde will make sure they will never personally show up and tell him to do anything.

Not until he overturns them and takes over, at any rate. Because that is a thing he will do.

"Okay. The mating thing?"

[taste_tester]

"Oh, you people with your squishy feelings will occasionally meet someone else with compatible squishy feelings and then the vampire or vampires of the pair will squishy feelings to end all squishy feelings forever and ever. If somebody present is human they don't tend to stay that way. Can't be losing your eternal mate to ordinary human mortality, to say nothing of how awkward it would be to consummate the relationship and how poorly mated vampires sometimes deal with unreciprocated eternal adoration."

[mrwoods]

"Hm."

Pause for a few seconds, some chewing on lip, some scratching of head.

"Can I email a couple of people to say I'm sick and/or going on a short vacation as may be the case?"

[taste_tester]

"If you don't mind me reading over your shoulder. But you probably shouldn't try to hang out with anybody you like for... say a year, maybe less maybe more, depends how quick you adjust and whether you can turn off your sense of smell."

[mrwoods]

He nods slowly. "Yeah, sure, you can read over my shoulder."

Emails are sent! He has a pretty good computer, for 2004, and pretty good internet, for 2004. That's all done pretty quickly.

"Right, then. Might I want to store buckets worth of blood somewhere before turning?"

[taste_tester]

"Yeah, you'll be hungry. And in case you can't cheat on the pain we will want to be somewhere no one can hear you scream."

[mrwoods]

He nods. "Erm, you got anywhere in mind? I guess I could probably rent some remote cabin in the woods on pretty short notice, thanks for the help with the power by the way, I got pretty rich off it, but anyway that might take a few hours to arrange and then to actually go there, I'm not sure how pressed for time or worried about the possibility that I'll run away screaming you are."