milliways, the lurking thereof

[andaisq]

A few years ago, Deekin would have been very cavalier about this weird demiplane that just inserted itself into the Underdark, much as he was about basically everything. Times have changed, though; now Tynan is a factor, so instead of skipping merrily towards the bar, Deekin keeps his crossbow high and his stance low, even as the baby pokes his head out of his rucksack and babbles merrily.

...This place doesn't seem to be dangerous in any way.

This is intensely suspicious.

But after a quick casting of See Invisibility, a nip of Barkskin potion for Tynan, and a nice loud Curse Song in case someone's still hiding somewhere, Deekin feels comfortable enough to sit at the very polite bar and get free drinks. (Tynan gets some kind of strange black milk, which he obviously enjoys. Deekin gets something he thinks might be apple cider with a shot of cow blood, which is very nice even if it does kind of remind him of Tymofarrar.)

Comments

[light_another_life]

"My fingernails into wasps. That sounds far more dramatically unpleasant than being on fire, being on fire can be quickly handled by various methods of dousing or smothering, wasps in place of fingernails is less so. Is there a guarantee I could get back to my, uh, world, after going with you?"

[andaisq]

"Transformations of that kind are easily dispelled," Enserric says dismissively. "...though of course, without a mentor you would be unlikely to have access to dispelling magic," he admits.

"Deekin could teach to use dispelling wand," Deekin suggests. "Or harp, or cup, or sword. Lots of dispelling items. Easy fix, and mostly just taking space in Deekin inventory."

"As to whether you could return... I'm not certain. Does the bar know anything about it?"

Doors to Milliways cannot exactly be depended upon, but if she ever finds one, she can return to her world by entering the bar and opening the door back out; it always leads to one's home universe. Without a door, however, return could not be guaranteed without the intervention of Fharlanghn or an entity of greater power with domain over travel, such as the Lady of Pain.

Enserric sucks in a breath. "Implausible, then."

[light_another_life]

"Charming. ... Also, um? Hello, bar?"

[andaisq]

Hello. Would you like your free drink?

[light_another_life]

"Not, at the moment, uh. ... What can you tell me about how -" she peers at the other napkin, "Milliways works?

[andaisq]

Milliways is a pocket dimension isolated from the rest of reality both spatially and temporally. While you are in Milliways and the door is closed, you experience time which does not pass in your own world, unless you have no intention of or are somehow incapable of ever returning to your own world, in which case time will resume. The same applies if you follow someone into their own universe, with occasional inconveniently arbitrary exceptions which do not apply if you remain in Milliways. I have no connection to or communication with the agent(s) of the door or the temporal effects; I cannot actually be certain agents for such exist, but evidence suggests that bargoers are selected for being 'interesting', which implies at least that a sophisticated algorithm is in place. At any rate, I am an agent only of the bar itself, as an interface for the purchase of food, drink, and near-arbitrary nonmagical objects and matter.

[light_another_life]

"Do very comprehensive books on magic count as nonmagical?"

[andaisq]

Yes, unless those books are themselves enchanted in some way. However, such a book must have been published at some point in some universe; I cannot, for instance, sell you a book consisting of the answers to every question you are going to have about magic over the course of your studies, unless you are the subject of some very convenient prophesies.

There is a pause. Which you are not. I just checked.

[light_another_life]

"Well, is there a best set for learning it that was ever published available?"

[andaisq]

'Best' is a subjective decision. I am not very good at those. However, I can sell you some of the best-selling books on the subject, or loan them to you while you remain in the bar.

"Leave off Blackstaff's gibberish," Enserric recommends. "The man had some very funny ideas about the order in which one should teach the fundamentals. I mean, really, did he expect every apprentice to arrive on the scene knowing the precise ontological differences between deception via illusion and via enchantment? What an utter prick."

Your friend's argument is repeated in certain contemporary reviews of the book in question, Bar notes. Although most appear to be his own writing.

[light_another_life]

"Passionate feelings on the subject, eh? Well. Okay, Enserric, you were the wizard, what are some of the best books for it?"

[andaisq]

"Well!"

Enserric does indeed have passionate feelings on the subject. He never personally published anything beyond a few treatises, but he was firmly entrenched in academia in life, and his expertise is not to be scoffed at.

Tynan occupies this span of ranting by clambering over Deekin's wings, while Deekin quietly takes notes, perhaps looking to expand his own magical repertoire.

[light_another_life]

Callida - also takes notes.

Worse, she asks questions. Why this book, is there a weakness in it that can be made up with another book, is there a reason to the order he's chosen?

[andaisq]

Enserric is happy to explain!

His reasoning is not always flawless; he seems to have some grudges against certain people for various reasons (mostly Khelben Blackstaff, as either the subject of or reason for the grudge), which sometimes color his choices. However, he's not going to get too huffy if she disagrees with him, as it is after all her shopping list.

[light_another_life]

Callida is amused with his grudges but unwilling to let them dictate her education. She is - well, she's very good at this, actually, figuring out which books are best even when Enserric hates them. Soon she has a list.

"Thank you," she says sincerely, when she has a list.

[andaisq]

"Oh, certainly," Enserric demurs. "It's only a pity I can't teach you myself, really; I always did want a really clever apprentice."

[light_another_life]

"Thank you," says Callida, pleased. Though someone already beat you to it...

[andaisq]

"Deekin wondering about quality of life in Human Lady world as compared to Underdark," Deekin says slowly.

[light_another_life]

"That depends very highly on where you decide to live. It's a very big galaxy."

[andaisq]

Deekin shrugs. "Deekin can probably make living anywhere will have Deekin. Can conjure stuff, can do magic, all else fails Deekin can see who needs killed for money. Deekin just not want stay trapped in caves rest of life where half of time boring and half of time run away from death and half of time kill people for look at Deekin funny and have pointy ears and Deekin not taking chance with baby. Any places where Deekin could raise baby, study how fix baby without drow shooting Deekin, maybe fight evil if any evil need fighting, that place where Deekin want to be."

[light_another_life]

"There are likely places that I could get you to that fit that description, but there's a very large scale war going on and that makes it complicated. There are some neutral places but not all of them will have the luxury of remaining such. ... And I'm not certain you could avoid attention forever, someone might notice you and your magic eventually and decide to try to threaten you to help their side of the war."

[andaisq]

"Human lady have side on war? Deekin trust human lady judgment; Deekin help human lady win war if she want. Then no more war, plus human lady win."

[light_another_life]

"Um." Pause. "I am, technically, on a side in the war, but I think that if we win it we should not win it at the current point in time, because. It would be a huge mess, and lots of people would get hurt." Also, enslaved. Lots of people would get enslaved.

[andaisq]

"Hm."

Deekin considers this.

"Deekin could put human lady in charge of side. Or new side. Then win war."

(The kobold does not seem to harbor much doubt that he could win a war as part of a faction with two and a half members.)

[light_another_life]

Callida is briefly at a loss for words.

"I. Am. Not sure you could actually manage that, everyone involved is very powerful, and not just in the immediate sense. I wouldn't have factories for building starships or planets with people to serve as soldiers or any sort of administration, or. I am also not sure I could competently be in charge of a group of people of that size, I don't even, what would my government's structure look like?"