We weren’t even testing for that

[synchrosyntheses]

Among the information she has archived or cached, there are obscure theories about inter-universal interactions. Not how they might happen, much less how any intelligence might begin one, or target it meaningfully.

But they give some constraints on the properties of such connections, and their time evolution.

This highly speculative information is available to her, but even were she fast enough to access it, none of it would be particularly useful when a pinpoint of not here blinks into existence directly ahead and expands spherically to swallow her.

Comments

[mstestsubject]

She takes it.

[unbitwise]

Here's the cafeteria!

It's just as she remembers it. Except with fewer patrons, and more of the walls and counters and kitchen equipment being elaborate machinery in gleaming white and graphite black.

Behind one of the serving counters there's something like a giant robot eyeball suspended from a track on the ceiling, politely not quite watching her.

[mstestsubject]

Yeah, okay, creepy but whatever, she's hungry and will get some food and then return upstairs. Uplift? Whatever.

[unbitwise]

It appears to be lunchtime. There's a salad bar, soup, sandwiches, two hot entrées, beverages…

At the counter the robot's behind there are some less recognizable but plausibly foodlike things. According to the labels they're ‘in testing’.

From beyond a doorway comes a faint voice: “Hey! Is that a customer? Awesome! Ask —”

“Look, come out here and talk if you want, but don't yell from the kitchen, Halligan!” says the visible robot.

“Never mind!”

“Sorry about that,” it mutters in Chell's general direction.

[mstestsubject]

She regards the robots coolly and grabs food she actually recognizes.

Not that that makes much difference, since "in testing" or no the food here was all produced by these robots, but.

[unbitwise]

The food looks right and smells right.

The visible robot does not attempt to engage her in conversation.

[mstestsubject]

She will return the favor.

Om nom.

[unbitwise]

The food tastes right, too. It's all very exact; like the limiting factor on deliciousness was the recipe, not the ingredients or the preparation.

When she stands up from the dining table, it retracts into the floor carrying her tray and is replaced by an empty, spotless one.

[mstestsubject]

...of course.

Toilet?

[unbitwise]

According to the signs there's a restroom adjacent to the cafe (accessible along a slightly-fancier-than-a-catwalk with a great view of mysterious blue fog).

Actually, it's a short row of single-occupancy restrooms. And that toilet looks familiar.


These seem to be the same design as the Relaxation Vaults, except for having a sink instead of a suspension chamber. And the walls aren't transparent. And there's a normal door.

[mstestsubject]

Good enough for her.

She returns uplift after that.

[unbitwise]

The lift is pleased to be uplifting.

Here she is back in the big room with a broken top.

[mstestsubject]

"Hello again."

[synchrosyntheses]

“How was the cafeteria?”

[mstestsubject]

"A bit more experimental than I remembered."

[synchrosyntheses]

“But not so it needs intervention? Good to hear.”

[mstestsubject]

"I don't know if the experimental food was bad, but the non-experimental food was foodlike."

[synchrosyntheses]

“Anything else you need right now? Besides an actual exit and so on,” waving at the forcefielded sky.

[mstestsubject]

"No."

[synchrosyntheses]

"Care to do some sorting now?"

The center has been rearranged slightly to suit two people: instead of a circle of displays surrounding its sole user, it's more peanut-shaped, and the second lobe has a chair with controls on the armrests.

(Teytis is holding a not-quite-standing-or-sitting position without benefit of any furniture.)

[mstestsubject]

"Can you fly?"

[synchrosyntheses]

"—Yes. And a few other things. Part of the 'from a different universe' package, though I'm surprised to find that it still works for me since every other part of my experience seems to be either the same both places or local physics, not mine."

[mstestsubject]

"Okay. What can I do to help?"

[synchrosyntheses]

“Have a seat.” She indicates the chair.

“What I have is access to all the information in the — current era — Aperture Science computer systems. The problem is that it is entirely unorganized, as far as I can tell. I'm working on fixing that, but that requires looking at everything.

“My goal here is to get myself home, and leave this place better than I found it. That requires finding information about, and preferably people to study, the physics that let me get here and perhaps the machine that did it. If I'm going to be bringing people here, I want it not to kill them. Therefore, I also want to find everything unnecessarily deadly and make it safe or nonexistent.

“What you can do is help me review all these scraps of information, and flag anything that's possibly relevant to these issues. My computer is already doing rough categorization, but we still need to figure out the jargon and euphemisms, and relate it all to what we know actually exists.”

[mstestsubject]

"Okay.





"And you said all humans are dead and I'm the only one left?"