The author gives some account of herself and family.

[lurkingkobold]

So, that was a party. It was nice, right up until it wasn't - almost like having a tribe again, if she didn't think too closely about it. But then it wasn't, and it really wasn't, and now here we are.

Here, in this case, is the floor of the closet of the room she's been sleeping in, in Miles' house, wrapped up as tight as she can manage in the blanket she took from the bed, waiting for her heart to calm enough that she can go back to sleep after a familiar and expected nightmare. The blanket is wrong - it's missing the smell and stiffness and most importantly the weight of the leather blanket she wishes she had - and the floor is wrong and the acoustics are wrong and being alone, with no other kobolds, is so wrong, and she wishes she could go home, just for a day, just for an hour, just for long enough to let everything be right again for a little while.

She can't, of course. In the light of day, with her new strange almost-tribe, she doesn't even want to, wouldn't want to even if she could. But here, now, in the dark, in this space that is right only in that it's less wrong than her other options, that it's small enough and closed enough that when she wakes, shaking, she can be sure that she is alone, that no one has snuck up on her - here and now, she would trade it all for the smell of cookfire smoke and the sound of a hundred sleeping bodies.

Remembering helps, a little. Even if she can't be there now, tribe is something she had, something she knows like breathing, like heartbeat. She can't be there, but, if she was.... it would sound like this, and it would look like this, and it would feel like this...

Eventually, her breathing slows, and she drifts back to sleep.

Comments

[greatcomposure]

"All right," she says/types. "I'll get my jacket, then."

She goes and gets her jacket. It's nice to be dressing for practicality, as opposed to dressing for Vor female fashion; she never did quite get the hang of gowns, and by this point expects she never will.

[lurkingkobold]

By the time she gets back, the kobold is dressed and nearly ready to go, but looking through a stack of papers for something. After a few more moments, she finds what she's looking for, and presents it to Cordelia - it turns out to be a fairly realistic colored pencil drawing of a vine with serrated, yellow-veined leaves climbing on a more abstracted rocky surface. "Am do of need of plant, is reason of go."

[greatcomposure]

Cordelia studies the drawing, and nods, and hands it back.

[lurkingkobold]

The kobold returns the paper to the pile, and wordlessly leads the way through the house and to Cordelia's demiplane, radiating cranky-stressed-determined the whole way.

[greatcomposure]

And Cordelia casts a gate to the same cave that Miles retrieved the kobold from originally.

[lurkingkobold]

The kobold gestures for Cordelia to wait, and steps through.

The cave is practically untouched, in the light from the portal; some scavenger has come through to pick at the rabbit corpse, but otherwise everything is the same. She takes a moment to check on the mysterious magic thing (unchanged) and to reacquaint herself with the path to the exit, then gestures for Cordelia to step through, reaching to take her hand before the portal closes and they lose their light source.

[greatcomposure]

She takes the kobold's hand and pockets her not-mirror and closes the gate.

[lurkingkobold]

The kobold guides them deftly to the tunnel that leads up and out of the cave, only a few seconds' travel. The tunnel itself is dark, but not the pitch-black of the rest of the space; Cordelia might find it a little claustrophobic but should have no trouble climbing through.

[greatcomposure]

She manages it just fine.

[lurkingkobold]

The kobold follows.

The tunnel lets out under a stone outcrop, and beyond that is Cordelia's first proper look at the kobold's world. It's... probably disappointingly earthlike, actually. On closer inspection, very earthlike, in fact - the patch of forest they're in is made up mostly of oak and walnut trees, with an apple tree visible a little ways off, still holding onto a few apples.

It's a little later in the day here than it was on Barrayar, but early enough that the frosty air has more to do with that than the season, and the bits of sky that are visible through the trees are clear.

The kobold steps out from under the stone, walks a few yards away through the underbrush to a deer trail, and looks back on the cave entrance, trying to work out how the land here is formed and where other stone formations might be, nearby. She's clearly not trying to hide, but it's still fairly easy to lose track of her in the dappled light.

[greatcomposure]

Cordelia makes an intrigued 'huh' sound when she observes all the Earthlike vegetation.

[lurkingkobold]

The kobold looks to Cordelia when she hears the noise, but goes back to what she's doing when it's apparently not directed at her, giving Cordelia some more time to examine the scenery.

After a few minutes, she makes an attention-getting 'querk' sound and heads off down the trail at a moderate pace, checking after a moment to make sure that Cordelia is following.

[greatcomposure]

Indeed she is.

[lurkingkobold]

Good.

The kobold leads the way down the trail, which runs fairly parallel to the rocky hillside they came out of; she slows, when they come to patches of plants growing there, and goes to investigate more closely a few times, but doesn't find what she's looking for.

The trail itself is narrow, but reasonably easy to follow, with only the occasional intruding branch or dangerous root or stone in the way. The kobold seems to be familiar and comfortable with leading people in this sort of context, holding aside the branches and pointing out the tripping hazards without any particular effort.

The trees continue to be familiar, except for one especially large-trunked type that appears occasionally. The underbrush is a little more mixed; something like two-thirds or three-quarters of the low plants are identifiable, with the remainder being similar to Earth's plant life, but not any recognizable species.

After nearly an hour and a half, the trail veers away from the hillside, and the kobold pauses to consider her options.

[greatcomposure]

Cordelia has been quietly enjoying the slightly nostalgic mental effort of categorizing all these plants. The hike is slightly nostalgic too, although in her Survey days she never had such an effective trail guide.

She pauses when the kobold does, and waits patiently.

[lurkingkobold]

After a little contemplation, the kobold makes a grumpy sound, and says "wait, am look." She then heads to the hillside and starts climbing.

[greatcomposure]

Well, then, Cordelia will wait.

[lurkingkobold]

It takes several minutes for the kobold to return, and when she does, some of her grumpiness has transformed into frustration and worry.

"Is big of hole," she nods in the direction the trail was headed. "No of safe of do, big of travel of." She sighs.

[greatcomposure]

Cordelia gets out her not-mirror to reply.

"Well, that sounds annoying. Do you think we can fix this problem with magic? I could try to change the hole so it's safe to walk across, or cast fly on both of us so we can fly over it."

[lurkingkobold]

Hm. "Maybe? Is... hm. Do of look," she says, and motions for Cordelia to follow her up the hill again.

It's a steep climb, but she picks out a path that avoids the worst of it and has plenty of handholds. When they get above the lower elevation's treeline, she motions to Cordelia to take the spot upslope of a sturdy-looking tree, while she braces against a slightly smaller one nearby.

The kobold's 'big hole' turns out to be a massive cave with most of its roof collapsed. There are trees growing in the middle of the hole, but the vegetation thins out toward the edges, suggesting that the stone has been falling in stages, and fairly recently. The cave's walls are still in deep shade; it seems unlikely that any vines could grow there.

[greatcomposure]

"I see," says Cordelia, beholding the hole.

She considers it for a moment, and then says/types, "I wouldn't want to try daeva magic on that in case more of it fell in while I was working, but it looks like we could fly over it easily."

[lurkingkobold]

The kobold... pauses; looks away, clinging more closely against her tree; takes a very purposeful breath.

"Not do. Is good of idea; am not do."

She looks like she wants a hug. She also looks like she's not letting go of her tree right now.

[greatcomposure]

"Okay," she says/types. "We can go around, then, or go a different way."

[lurkingkobold]

The kobold nods, and considers, not letting go of her tree just yet.

(Well, 'considers'; she takes a little time to calm herself down first.)

"Place of tribe, am know of place of plant. Other of place," she indicates their surroundings with a one-armed gesture, "am not of know; maybe is no of plant."

"Reason of plant is - person do of big of stress, do of hurt of stress, many of trouble? Plant do of help of stress - do of stress, do of plant, do of small of hurt, maybe do of no of hurt."

"Am of stress; am of hurt. More of stress is of more of hurt. If do of more of stress, no do of plant, am worry of big of trouble... am not of know of place, place maybe no is of plant."

She seems resigned, when she finishes speaking, but shaky.

[greatcomposure]

It seems like maybe there is unexpectedly little of this plant to be had around here. But Cordelia isn't sure what to do with that conclusion. She thinks for a moment, and then asks:

"Where else can we look, to find some of this plant? Would it be helpful if I flew across the hole to see what's on the other side and if there's any of the plant there? Or we could ask the rainbow goddess what to do; she might be able to tell us something useful."