Most Likely A Refuge

[whatamithinking]

It was probably safe.

The bar was...unusually reticent, in the lower layers of her mind (and she hadn't pried further; she wasn't sure if she'd be noticed; she wasn't sure if offending would get her kicked out, and regardless of whether it was actually safe it was safer than anywhere else she'd been for the past...three years?) so she couldn't be sure this place wasn't really a trap of some kind, but the higher layers gave a plausible explanation that didn't involve being a trap, and whatever else it was warm and dry and had food. Her guard was probably a full 25% down. Positively trusting, these days.

Comments

[whatamithinking]

"Mm."

She doesn't sound convinced.

(Why would an alt of me be close enough to someone so blank that she would slip up and say my)

[onceandforall]

"Are... you okay?"

[whatamithinking]

"No."

There's no reason to lie about that. Okay is for fairy tales like five years ago.

[onceandforall]

"What happened?"

[whatamithinking]

"Why do you imagine I would trust you enough to answer that question?" A tinge of fear and hostility leaks into her voice. She tries to clamp down, but isn't fully successful.

[onceandforall]

"I, uh, didn't realize it was that personal a question?"

[whatamithinking]

If she's a plant she already knows she's a telepath--

"I can't read you. I can't trust you for anything."

[onceandforall]

"You can't -? Oh. There's some hostile mind magic floating around in my world, not a ton but some, but I have a spell for it now. Were... you... trying to read my mind. Without asking. Is that a thing you were doing."

[whatamithinking]

"I was trying not to get fucking killed."

[onceandforall]

"I'm not trying to kill you! All I did was recognize you from having met one of your alts once!"

[whatamithinking]

"Even assuming I believe you, I was supposed to know this how? If you don't want to kill me that puts you in a club of less than a fifth of the people I've met over the last three years."

[onceandforall]

"Then you kind of have a problem, but that doesn't mean you should go around preemptively being everybody else's problem!"

[whatamithinking]

"I know I have a problem, but I'd rather be somebody else's problem than dead."

[onceandforall]

"Supervillain version of Edie: not as fun a surprise as a free drink," mutters Bella.

[whatamithinking]

"I'm not the fucking supervillain, the supervillains are the people who murdered a school full of children, my parents, literally everyone I have ever loved except my sister, and thousands if not millions of other innocent bystanders. I'm pretty sure you only count as a supervillain when it is significantly less ambiguous that you are the lesser of two evils. I would love to be able to afford to have ethics again, but every day I get to decide between reading some peoples' minds without saying pretty please first and letting not only myself but also dozens of innocents die. If it helps I'm under no illusions that I count as an innocent anymore."

[onceandforall]

"I'm not saying those people are not also supervillains, but I've been murdered a few times and the people I'm madder at are the ones I needed my fucking mind defense spell for!"

[whatamithinking]

"Well lah di dah for you, I imagine I wouldn't mind people trying to kill me as much if I could get back up again afterwards!"

[onceandforall]

"That's not the point! You can't just declare unaffordable mental privacy for random people! It's not yours to refrain from purchasing!"

[whatamithinking]

"It's also not mine to spend, the lives of the people who are depending on me!"

[onceandforall]

"You shouldn't be claiming responsibility you can't handle, and you clearly can't handle it!"

[whatamithinking]

"If there was anyone else who could, I'd gladly step down. If abdicating responsibility didn't mean people died, I'd gladly step down. Do you literally think that mindreading is worse than death, and that you have the right to make this choice for everyone else I interact with?"

[onceandforall]

"You're not trading it off for specific people! You didn't read my mind and look, neither of us is dead! You are harming everybody who crosses your path!"

[whatamithinking]

"This place, whatever it is, is an anomaly for me! I can, in fact, personally confirm that I would have died a dozen times over if I had more lenient habits! Woman, I live in worse than a war zone!"

[onceandforall]

"There are things you should sooner die than do!"

[whatamithinking]

"Do you think I think I'm going to make it out of this alive!? I live to protect those in my care. When my purpose is complete, if it ever is, if someday the survivors live in peace and don't have to look over their shoulder lest jackbooted thugs or murderous robots end them, one way or another I'm going to be dead."