We weren’t even testing for that

[synchrosyntheses]

Among the information she has archived or cached, there are obscure theories about inter-universal interactions. Not how they might happen, much less how any intelligence might begin one, or target it meaningfully.

But they give some constraints on the properties of such connections, and their time evolution.

This highly speculative information is available to her, but even were she fast enough to access it, none of it would be particularly useful when a pinpoint of not here blinks into existence directly ahead and expands spherically to swallow her.

Comments

[synchrosyntheses]

Exceptions are interesting. What information is available about that exception?

[peterxy]

The exception is a mid-twenties female of such-and-such physical conditions, daughter of two employees, and unremarkable except for the "tenacity" measure, whatever that means, in which she seems to score way above the 99th percentile. That alone was enough for her file to be refused by the system with a very large 'DO NOT TEST' marker.

And yet, somehow, she was put at the top of the list of test subjects, the first to be awoken.

And here are the video recordings of her tests, to the very last chamber.

And she's in a Relaxation Vault.

[synchrosyntheses]

This sounds like a person of interest and capability, who should certainly have some input on what to do about this whole system.

Does the information in the files indicate she has any friends or acquaintances, or parents, also available?

[peterxy]

Parents: information unavailable. It doesn't say that they're dead or missing - there certainly are orphans and adopted people and things like that in other files - just that the information isn't there for Teytis to access. She doesn't seem to have any other connections. As in, the file actually says she doesn't have other connections, not that the information's missing.

[synchrosyntheses]

Well, isn't that just blatantly suspicious.

Anyone else looking like a good candidate? Maybe someone technically inclined who probably wasn't on board with the final madness?

[peterxy]

No one else is marked as 'DO NOT TEST' while still in the testing line, and the various other candidates have various other values in their variously arbitrary measurements and details.

[synchrosyntheses]

Okay. Random number generator, have at it.

What would be the standard procedure for waking someone up and introducing them to a test chamber the current state of affairs?

[peterxy]

Well, they're woken up periodically for Aperture Science Mandated Intellectual And Physical Rehabilitation to make sure they won't atrophy, but there's the virtual equivalent of a huge button with lots of arrows and clear instructions on how to press it to start testing which moves the Relaxation Vault into the starting chamber of the Aperture Science Testing Track and wakes the test subject.

[synchrosyntheses]

Reconfigure chamber 1 into something — distinctly not a test chamber.

Send some of herself down to attend each Vault to make sure she can immediately intervene in any mistreatment.

Select Ms. DO NOT TEST and 2 other random people —

[peterxy]

Some of herself meets someone on the way down.

"Oh. Hello."

[synchrosyntheses]

“Hello. What is your job?”

(She'll be checking this electronically as well, of course.)

[peterxy]

"Oh. I'm Wheatley, I take care of the humans. Who are you?"

[synchrosyntheses]

"I am an extension of the central coordinator."

(This particular extension doesn't suggest she's human, and could be mistaken for a typical Aperture robot if it had a bit more in the way of exposed workings; it's a floating sphere with a camera and some other less-obviously-purposed ports.)

[peterxy]

Wheatley's eye widens. "Oh! Yes, ma'am. Everything going fine, here. Nothing wrong at all. I'm glad to see you're safe and whole and very much not dead."

[synchrosyntheses]

"It's a loooong story. But I'm fine and things are going to be getting better now."

(She has reviewed some of the testing videos.)

As the vaults come into view, she splits into three (with a bit of gratuitous movement and opening panels, to discourage suspicion about not being a normal robot, just in case) and heads to all of the selected vaults.

[peterxy]

He follows one of her to the vault. "Of course, of course, happy to hear it. The, um, the humans are fine."

The vaults are, in fact, shaped like motel rooms. By whatever mechanism, the humans are on the bed, looking quite... relaxed. Probably in suspension.

[synchrosyntheses]

Whatever mechanism. Are there any suspicious, possibly antisocial, mechanisms around the vault? Particularly rude alarm clocks? Just checking.

[peterxy]

Nope! Nothing antisocial.

"And they're so, so healthy. Really, you don't even need to check on them, I've been doing quite a good job, if I may say so myself. Splendid."

[synchrosyntheses]

“I'm planning a bit more than checking on them.”

Virtual button: pushed.

[peterxy]

The test subject awakening process begins. The first step involves moving the vaults to the respective test tracks (there can be many tracks active at any one time, apparently) so the test subjects won't lose any time.

"Oh! Of course, of course. Yes, they'll be very good test subjects, yep, the very best."

[synchrosyntheses]

She follows closely along with the vaults.

She also removes the rail segment that would allow Wheatley to follow as well.

“Sorry about that, but this is going to be a — very special test and I need to avoid any — confounding factors.”

[peterxy]

"Sure, sure. Um, I'm gonna go watch the, uh, other humans."

The vaults reach their separate tracks, and the beds are moved to particular places where the humans will wake up: sterile rooms containing only a toilet, surrounded almost exclusively by glass, with the exception of a bit of stone wall there.

[mstestsubject]

One of those humans opens her eyes inside one of said sterile rooms. A little radio starts playing a little song, and she glares at the ceiling.

Of course. Of course.

[unbitwise]

Actually, things are a bit out of their usual course.

The glass falls away as if melted.

And surrounding her is not a standard or non-standard test chamber, but a large expanse of floor panels. There are no walls or ceilings — the immense machinery-dotted space of the interior of Aperture Science is visible all around.

[mstestsubject]

She sits up and looks around, a bit confused. She looks down - jumper, of course, Aperture Science Long Fall Boots on, naturally. No portal gun. Then looks around again.

And waits.