godsfire

[onwhatwingswedareaspire]

It is dark.

((Warning: Contains traumatized characters and other content that should be warned for. We will attempt to start keeping up-to-date specific warning list soon))

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[onwhatwingswedareaspire]

This gets a shaky giggle. "M-more than once, though I have been right before too or I would not still be in the habit. Sometimes it seems like everything wants me dead."

After some consideration: "I do not usually solve it that way, though." Squeeze. "I am very sorry about putting you though that, especially after the other thing, for which I am also sorry." She pauses for a moment to try to collect herself again, and then adds, "It does seem to have worked, though." (She sounds rather surprised by that; not as though it has just occurred to her, but as though she is still in the process of being surprised by it)

[dotted_lines]

He smiles back, a little sadly. "Yeah, it can be like that sometimes. But you're still alive."

Squeeze. He continues hugging his now-confirmed again friend. "Good."

[onwhatwingswedareaspire]

"The more I hear about Eventide, the more I think that it is a horrible world, too," Thorn says, giving him a slightly tighter hug for a moment.

His latter statement gets a confused look at he may or may not be able to see. "Hm?"

[dotted_lines]

"It has some good sides, but overall, yeah." Hugs.

He looks up at her tone of voice. "I'm glad it worked?"

[onwhatwingswedareaspire]

"So am I, but..." There is a great deal of bewilderment in her voice. "That is all you you have to say? --I am fairly certain you would have to actually try to hit something that triggered me verbally, if that is what you are worried about."

[dotted_lines]

"Uh. I'd like to know what was going on, and what you were trying to do that worked but you don't have to. We're back to being definitely friends, right?" Slightly tighter hug.

[onwhatwingswedareaspire]

Thorn makes a quiet choking sound. "Yes," she says, hugging him tightly. "I -- how the hell do I manage to poison everything around me?"

She has to stop and breathe for a few moments to get her voice even slightly under control. "I was terrified I was going to kill you. And I knew exactly how and why and -- the short version is that I am paranoid. Which, is not news. But if you were a, a secret operative, at this point I had already very throughly lost, so I might as well find out if I could trust you. And then I went in circles on the part where I already as good as dead-or-worse if that was something I had to be concerned about from you, and the part where, especially if I did not, I really do not want to kill you, and, well... you saw the result."

She unwraps an arm long enough to rub at her eyes before hugging him again, after a close look to make sure he does not object. "It did work, although I would still recommend not startling me, but I, I am rather concerned about what I seem to have done in the process."

[dotted_lines]

He hugs back. "Good. I'm not poisoned I thought you said, though?

"Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. I'm glad you didn't want to kill me. But yeah, it's a tough decision when you think someone might."

He does not object to being rehugged with the arm, but instead hugs a little tighter. "It's okay. I'm glad it worked, and we're friends."

[onwhatwingswedareaspire]

"I did not mean poison in the literal sense," she responds quietly. "I would have told you immediately if that was the case."

Then she processes the statement that had followed that, and blinks. "What -- what are you apologizing for there? --And why are you glad we are friends?"

[dotted_lines]

He looks slightly confused about the poison, but doesn't say anything.

"I'm sorry about whatever I did that made you think I was going to kill you. I didn't mean to. I didn't want to scare you.

"And. I'm -- I like who you are, and you're my friend, and I like being friends?"

[onwhatwingswedareaspire]

"You did not--" Thorn sighs. "If it had been something you had done -- I probably would not have even tried that. It was just. General paranoia." She squeezes him again, and then says, "Come on, we should see if we can find a way out of here."

She is in the process of (reluctantly) unhugging and getting up when she realizes what he just said. "Wait, what?"

[dotted_lines]

He starts to unhug and prepare to stand up, but pauses when Thorn does. "Hm?"

[onwhatwingswedareaspire]

"I, that, what."

She does not seem to be able to form a coherent response to whatever it was that prompted that.

[dotted_lines]

He thinks back to what he said. "I didn't mean to scare you? I like being friends?"

[onwhatwingswedareaspire]

She shakes her head at the first, and then again, more hesitantly, at the second. (That is apparently a thing that is confusing but not the thing that prompted that reaction.)

[dotted_lines]

"I like who you are?"

[onwhatwingswedareaspire]

Thorn nods, and makes some gestures that might be translated as 'yes, that thing, what the hell'.

[dotted_lines]

"Uh. That's what friendship is, I think? People liking each other?"

[onwhatwingswedareaspire]

"...I do not know. Maybe. People are complicated."

She does not look any less confused, but she seems calmer about it now, and starts off investigating the perimeter of the room. "But, then, why do you consider me a friend at all?"

[dotted_lines]

He follows her to the wall and inspects the intricate paneling for a few minutes.

"You're, uh, really nice, and helpful, and you're a good person, like, you actually went to go help people, in a way that could've saved a lot of lives if things had gone worse."

And she cares about him. Probably best not to say that out loud though.

[onwhatwingswedareaspire]

Thorn seems to find this somewhat puzzling. "Emergency response is kind of a decent portion of my job. I have actual training for it. I -- am not sure how that makes me a good person, especially given how many--" her voices catches. She swallows, and continues, "I do not keep a count of it, so I could not tell the exact proportions of people I've saved to those who are dead because of me. But one does not make up for the other."

[dotted_lines]

He continues walking the perimeter of the room, looking for any differences between the panels.

"Lots of people have emergency response as a part of their job, but you actually did even though you didn't have to."

He walks a little more in silence. "I'm pretty sure they don't balance away, but I think it probably means you're good as long as you still care? And, like, try to do the better thing, when it's possible?"

[onwhatwingswedareaspire]

Thorn seems very tense while she waits for him to respond, but relaxes some when he does. "Emergency response is a reflex; at that point am not sure if it is relevant.

She is silent for a moment. "Perspective is important," she says, after a moment. "I have to care about those people and -- about that whole city -- or I do not know if I will try." She rubs at her eyes again, and reaches out her hand a little ways in his direction, before freezing for a second, and then letting it fall back to her side. She keeps moving, trying to focus on inspecting the panels.

[dotted_lines]

"But, people aren't less helped by it being a reflex, they're more. Reflexes make you better at doing something. I don't know the specifics, but I think you are a good person."

At the hand motion, he pauses. If previous examples hold true... "Would you like a hug?"

[onwhatwingswedareaspire]

Thorn makes a thoughtful noise at his statement about reflexes. "...do you want me to tell you why I consider myself to not be a good person?" she asks quietly.

Pause. "A hug would be nice," she says.