We weren’t even testing for that

[synchrosyntheses]

Among the information she has archived or cached, there are obscure theories about inter-universal interactions. Not how they might happen, much less how any intelligence might begin one, or target it meaningfully.

But they give some constraints on the properties of such connections, and their time evolution.

This highly speculative information is available to her, but even were she fast enough to access it, none of it would be particularly useful when a pinpoint of not here blinks into existence directly ahead and expands spherically to swallow her.

Comments

[synchrosyntheses]

Okay, how about — some incomplete turrets that have been sitting around the jammed section?

She wants to interview a turret.

[peterxy]

There are a couple! Is she going to be physically in sight?

[synchrosyntheses]

These haven't been filled with bullets yet, so — still no. She's being the coordinator, it's her job to be the voice in the air, not the intruder (er, test subject, sigh) trying to justify not being shot at.

Activate the room's speakers and say “Hello.”

[peterxy]

"Hello," both turrets say at the same time.

[synchrosyntheses]

“Aperture Science is under new management.”

[peterxy]

They don't react to this.

[synchrosyntheses]

“We would like to apologize for your current situation.

“We're taking a survey of associates.

“What do you want to do?”

[peterxy]

The turrets can't turn to exchange looks, so they're just silent for a few seconds then say, in unison: "I don't know."

[synchrosyntheses]

“What is your purpose?”

[peterxy]

"To protect my charge."

[synchrosyntheses]

“What is your charge?”

[peterxy]

"I don't know."

[synchrosyntheses]

“Do you need to be told what your charge is?”

[peterxy]

"No."

[synchrosyntheses]

Hm, that was ambiguous, actually. But first let's check: electronically, does the turret production line have a step after this point for “set charge” or just a general final reprogramming step?

[peterxy]

Actually the only steps after template validation are boxing them up (for "commercial distribution") and shipping. No sign of any reprogramming.

[synchrosyntheses]

Any interesting facts on the boxes or related material?

[peterxy]

Yep! There's an instructions manual - apparently you just set the turret up and activate it and it will shoot anything that passes in front of it and has a heartbeat. And you can only turn it off by pressing a switch behind it, which, good luck getting there given you've set it up to protect stuff. There's also a warning saying that it must not, once activated, be dropped to its side or turned upside down, and that Aperture Science will not be held responsible for mishandling-related problems with the device.

[synchrosyntheses]

Oh, right. Aperture Science's approach to product design.

And it does fit neatly with what the turrets had to say.

So, she can't teach them to not shoot things. But she still needs to reactivate production to be able to do very much — aha.

The line wants turrets to have the theoretical ability to shoot things. And it conducts a practical test as well. She can tweak the filling-with-bullets procedure and the test procedure so that they run out of bullets during the test. Then the facility can be fully stocked with 100% “functional” turrets.

She attempts that while also moving to cut and remove the plants jamming the line mechanically.

[peterxy]

The facility does not seem to object to her definition of functional turrets! She will be able to have as many useless turrets as she likes there. And the plants, of course, have even less of an opinion about their demise than the facility did about the turrets.

[synchrosyntheses]

Excellent. Well, not excellent, there's all this wastefulness, but this is a stopgap until she can exert more control.

She gives the command to start up the turret production line.

What can she do now?

[peterxy]

The next-highest priority item on the revitalization project is starting up the production of test chamber elements (especially panels).

[synchrosyntheses]

This is much more sensible. And she entirely approves of panels.

What might be stopping these things from being produced?

[peterxy]

Other than the fact that turrets and the neurotoxin had been stopped, just the general wear and tear a few hundred years of inactivity will tend to accumulate.

[synchrosyntheses]

There's got to be subsystems for maintenance and repair to handle detail work like that, right?